Coworkers: guess who...

So it's Wednesday night in a week where I have been working in a branch of two people. It's fine and everything, I mean, I'm being kept pretty busy and the commute isn't bad, the sun has been out most of the time and the clients have been really great. Why am I blogging? Because this is MY blog, and I need to yell.

OH MY HELL THE ASSISTANT IS DRIVING ME INSANE.

She's one of those ultra-nice people - I mean beyond nice. I mean so nice you wanna just beat the smack out of her. From like, minute one of each and every day. Wow. She is flipping annoying. Holy mother. I am mildly amazed that by now I have not exploded at her. I have come close, sure, like when she cried twice before noon on Tuesday. And I swear I didn't have anything to do with it. Well, at least I don't think I did - there is a procedure now that is different than it's been for a few years and so when she did it and somebody called me to tell me she did it wrong, and I told her there is a new procedure, she flipped out. Good Christ. And then I think she cut her finger on something. I know I didn't have anything to do with that one.

There are people out there in the branches who have a hard time adjusting to all this change and automation and corpora-tizing of our industry. She's one of them. And you know what? It's not going to stop happening. And it certainly isn't going to stop happening just because some of these people don't want to learn anything new. We had a conference call Monday morning and afterward, all the feedback I got from her was negative. I told her, "If you have concerns that you would like to bring to management's attention, you need to think them through and make sure that the way you present them does not have anything negative in it - no 'can't's, 'won't's or 'we'll lose all our clients'." She just gaped at me. I told her management will not take your gripes seriously - you will simply look like you don't support the company. What's done is done and nobody is in a position right now to be bitching about the job. Of course she started crying. She was in my office so I had to just sit there and wait for it to pass. It took a while.

I have to say that one of my biggest pet peeves is a weak female. It drives me bananas. So the fact that I haven't put a chair through a window by today already is simply amazing. God help me get through the next two days. God help her. Ugh.

I see the ocean ~

It was a game we played when I was a kid and we would spend a week at the beach in the summer - just as we were driving into Cannon Beach (and later, Lincoln City) you'd crane your neck to be the first one to see the blue horizon of the Pacific. I didn't remember this game until this morning, at Tim Casey's funeral, when one of his neices recalled it, and a block fell down from my mental wall. We used to stay at the Caseys' beach houses - we must have got it from them.

My brother Tom just phoned me a little bit ago to tell me that he got the owner's choice award for employee of the year. Tom has had his personal challenges that he always manages to overcome, and it can't be good for his ego or his psyche, but if you go into his apartment you'll see plaques from every year but one in the five years he has had this current job - a job he got on recommendation from the last company he worked for when they closed their doors; I think one year he got employee of the decade at that company. He has been employee of the year by managers' choice and by employees' choice and other things "of-the-year" related, and he told me this time he wasn't expecting anything at all, and then they gave him this. He's proud and he should be. It's funny because he knows he isn't doing anything above and beyond, but just what he would expect in an employee and what he imagines his employer expects from all their employees. Most people just don't get that. Most people just figure the company is lucky to have them.

Life is funny sometimes. You say goodbye in the morning and hello and congratulations later in the day. Life goes on. Today's funeral was at Jesuit where Tim was a legend, and the place was packed. All these people taking a couple hours out of life to remember someone who made an impact on so many.

I guess that's what it is - make an impact. Be something for someone. Influence well or be a part of a postive change. Sometimes I wonder what the next adventure will be, where I am going or what I am supposed to do next. Maybe I'm in the middle of it. Maybe I should just be out there trying to make a better work day for my coworkers or showing random people a kindness. Life is full of struggles and challenges and maybe if we just try to make it a little bit more comfortable for others, we might make a difference. So you make a little impact on one person every day; I guess if everyone did that, maybe it might make life a little easier.

Tim Casey's family made an impact on me today - at the end of the ceremony they handed out little burlap bags of sand from Cannon Beach, tied with a ribbon that says "I see the ocean". I'm keeping it in sight as a reminder of simpler, easier times. And as a reminder that everything we do makes an impact; the choice is ours to make it a positive one.

More White Light

Also for Beckla

And so it begins

Really, I have so little to look forward to in my life. But it's Wednesday and the cycle begins again. Just a little something to get me by until televised exhibition games and driving home in complete daylight.

Hope you all remembered to tune in!

Choices and Obligations

Big difference.

I've been kicking this around as a result of figuring out what irritates me so that I can eliminate those things and be a little bit more carefree. When the list of irritants gets pretty long, you start to wonder what can be eliminated and what is just your personality. I had a conversation recently about people having the ability to change. One side said people can't change - they are who they are. The other said people can change, if they really want to. Think about quitting smoking or dieting - those are changeable behaviors. But the ability to change the way you ARE emotionally? That requires some thought.

A big item on the list of things that irritate me is when a person is somewhere they don't want to be. Generally this becomes MORE of an irritant when that person is a part of a couple, which most of the people I know are. I can almost understand (having been there often) a SINGLE person being unhappy with their surroundings, but it doesn't irritate me as much simply because as a single person, it's their choice to make the change. If they don't make any changes and continue to bitch, then they are just bitching for the sake of it. I don't pay much attention. Sooner or later they will do something about it. For now, bitch away, until they get sick of it and change or WE get sick of it and quit talking to them. Easy solution.

The couple thing, though, hm. I haven't been part of a couple in a long while now, and frankly, at 42, I'm not so sure it is as appealing as it once was. I know plenty of pairs where one of them is just miserable in their surroundings, so when one suggests changing their situation, one is met with complete opposition. The reason? The other one is perfectly happy in THEIR world. So how can that be? How, if you are part of a committed relationship, can you be oblivious to your partner's obvious unhappiness? Isn't coupledom supposed to be about compromise and wanting to see your partner happy? Or isn't that at least a little part of it? Can you really say you are pleased with your situation when you are sharing your life with someone who is only in the same surroundings so that YOU can be comfortable?

It's a pretty wide open plane. Like the O Henry classic indicates, in the world of coupledom, you sacrifice for your partner's happiness to the extent that you have given up that which you prize the most, when maybe just TELLING your partner what you really want and need might eliminate a lot of unhappiness. Compromise, and don't lose your self. I guess that is the most unappealing part of coupledom for me - losing my SELF. Because I see it all the time.

On another hand, you've got your obligations - things you cannot get away from, beyond your bills and your job. All those things can still be changed to make you happy or at least content. But emotional obligations, I don't know. Those things are hard to get around. We're supposed to be happy to make other people happy, but it can spin dangerously out of control when you're the kind of person that sacrifices their own happiness for that of others. People tell you to let these emotional obligations go, but it is a lot harder than they might think - and they know this, because they probably have a few of their own they can't blow off.

I started this post on Saturday morning and couldn't figure out what I was getting at, but somewhere in there is some good observation, so I am posting it as is. Not to like, teach you anything, but just to give you a little peek inside my mind when it is fairly idle and there are still five days before ANTM's cycle 10 opener.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEXICO WAY!

Come on, everyone sing!

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Elizabeth
Happy Birthday to you!

Go on over to her blog and wish her a happy birthday today!

Hope it's a great one and cheers to a great year ahead!

And so it goes....

So okay. I'll just nutshell it. Being back at work and back to the real world as I now know it has completely staunched any creative juices that might have flowed.

I had a nice vacation after several weeks of hard (not HARD, just) work, and got to do pretty much most of what I wanted. I laid out in the sun, I read a few books, we toured the island, we had some great meals, I saw a few (not all though) of the friends I wanted to see, I drank some booze, I relaxed and soaked in the views. It was a pretty kick back vacation and I am totally into that. I got to stretch my Spanish language legs and I even had the proprietor of a mini-super in stitches. All good.

That's it. The kitties enjoyed their time with their Uncle Tom - after spending the first day behind major appliances and the next day tentatively sniffing at his heels and then darting away, they warmed up to the new Bringer-of-Kibble-and-Scooper-of-Poop and spent every evening playing. When I got back (in the middle of the night Saturday) they almost didn't know who the hell I was. I decided to leave the bedroom doors open that night to see how they would fare sleeping with me, and you know, it's my own fault that I barely got 2 hours of sleep because they were so flipping excited about the prospect that they didn't sit, stand or even walk the whole night. Their activity can only be described as "zipping". All night. I finally got up at 6:30 and then later we all napped out of sheer exhaustion.

So my laundry is done (though the suitcase is still in the middle of the living room floor) and I am back at work. I have been in Orenco since Tuesday, but I will go back to Lincoln Tower (and Gloria's unit) tomorrow. Orenco has been fun, if not a little bit slow right now (lots of orders, just nothing ready to go the last few days - it happens), but it's been nice to not leave the house til 7:30.

So there is my update, where I sit right now in my life. It's mesmerizing, isn't it? I am losing my tan so I think I will start again tomorrow, just a little maintenance buzz, and go from there. Three day weekend ahead and it is actually supposed to be warmish and sunny, I will most definitely get out there.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you with Valentines. I have two, myself.

Room with a view

This is the view from our deck


Still no creative juices flowing, so just hang in there.

You know, it's really not that great of a picture, is it? I need a new camera.

You. Are. On. T.V.

Oh my hell it's pronounced ESpresso, not EXpresso! You're on TV! For God's sake! You're an embarrassment!

(So you obviously know who is on the Food Network right now..)

I just had to say something. I have not fully formed the post about my vacation yet, but since I was sitting here, I figured I would put something up.


I'll be back sooner or later.

Not so disconnected

Um, Dave brought his laptop.

Just some key phrases for you as we are getting ready to leave for the day:

Mexico Way as booze transporter
Jagerbombs
Bomb o' Jager bottle (it fell off the deck)
If today is dry, then why am I so drunk?
Full sun day
Didn't have my numbers with me
No meat for you!

And that's it. But it's only Monday morning, and we didn't drink yesterday.

I'll elaborate more later.

It's sunny and warm and we are going over to Cancun today to seek out our Tio and perhaps raise a glass with that River Girl ~

Shipping off ~

You know I forgot stuff, and didn't bring anything remotely dressy (for what?), but for crying out loud I am just about ready. Need to eat something, and make the bed and clean the bathroom (surface), and snuggle with los animales, but that's it. I don't have my Telcel phone anymore, but Liz knows how to text me as I have my US cell number. Nobody's bringing a laptop so we won't be checking email or anything.

I hope I see some of you down there, but we all know how vacations go and I know what it's like to have people come down in the middle of your real life.

Have a great week! Next time you see me, I'll be tan.

:)