Saturday, November 27, 2010

Black Friday (or, Why Am I Showered This Early When I Don't Shop For Anyone But Myself?)

Oh yes. Black Friday. For you not paying attention to the news for the last fifty years, Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving, when stores open super early and offer crazy deals on all the must-haves of the year. People start (and finish) their Christmas shopping, buy big-screen TVs and Cabbage Patch dolls and socks. The air is festive and Christmas-like, people are friendly and happy and courteous and don't steal your cart.

Oh wait, yes they do. Plus they're not friendly. Or happy. Or courteous.

That Marshy and I descended upon the Fred Meyer at around 6:30 - no small feat for her since she drove to my house from Scappoose (which seriously is like 750 miles away). Fred Meyer, I recently found out, has all their socks on sale 1/2 off on Black Friday, and God knows I need socks, so right when you walk in to the main entrance their are tables and tables of socks. And people. You don't want to get in the way of a dedicated sock buyer in a situation like this. We scored a cart and parked it and took turns watching the cart and finding socks, but when it came time to find some slippers, I foolishly left the sock-filled cart in an inconspicuous spot and jumped into the slipper fray. Bad idea. Moments later we found ourselves cart- and sock-less, like the last thirty minutes never happened. I'll never understand a person who steals someone else's cart.

We spent a good amount of time in the Fred Meyer, definitely. Marshy had a pretty big list and there were so many (happy..) people it made maneuvering a bit difficult. Last purchase on the stop was a TV - 47" for the low, low price of $749. We had a boy help us load the monstrosity into the CRV and headed to the mall.

In true TtheD fashion, I hit the Nordstrom and bought absolutely NOTHING on sale. After a torturous half hour at the Game Stop, and a boot purchase for Marshy at the Macys, we trundled back in the CRV and headed toward the Target. We were almost through it purchase-less (there were better advertised things at the KMart and our dogs were starting to bark) when we happened upon two random Magnavox 46" TVs just sitting in the children's section with a sign that said $492. What? $250 less for just one less inch? This is madness! We deliberated on what to do for a little bit, being as how there was already one big screen TV box in the car, and figured we could probably pull it off - purchase and load, then run back to the Fred Meyer and return the other. Which is what we did, after a little bit of a fiasco with the diligent security folks at Bank of America.

Back to the Fred Meyer, back to the socks, this time with a gigantic TV on top of the cart. People were still so FRIENDLY! Mmhmm.

That done, we made a quick stop at the Trader Joe's, and then off to the KMart - by this time the 5-11am deals were done and the parking lot wasn't horrible. We knocked out quite a few things on the list, and finally, after six hours of running around shopping like I had some kind of purpose, she dropped me back at the casita. Where I napped hard. Then forced myself to tan and then came home in time for kickoff. And texted all night long with my favorite person in the world, Brad C. in Cleveland.

It was a very fun-filled day all around, if I do say so myself, despite the crowds and the elbow shots to the ribcage and my confronting several determined women and the parking spot stalkers and the rain and my cracking fingers. Let the holidays begin, I say! May it be frantic for everyone else and super-relaxing for me!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I've started and stopped a dozen posts and had three times that in my head at any given time. Just can't seem to get it down on screen. Slumps pass, that's all I'm saying. I'll keep trying.

I did want to ask a simple question, though: 17? Why does it have to be 17 degrees when I wake up? I think this particular slump is passing us, though, but I would like to add that if we get another cold snap next Thursday morning there will be hell to pay. HELL TO PAY.

I'm always cold, and in my current condition I am colder than usual. Getting out of bed just seems like a bad idea all around.

Happy Day-Before-Thanksgiving. I'm out of cauliflower and I need it for tomorrow. This can only spell disaster. Forget about paranoia, procrastination is what will destroy ya.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

You get what you pay for

so it's a pretty good thing nobody's giving me any money for this.

This is the time of year that my skin starts just randomly cracking. It's not used to electric heat again and because my staunch rule of No Coat Before December 1 also includes No Gloves, my fingers are dry and exposed to the cold and couple that with pushing paper all day, well, you can't expect anything less than sudden, random cracks. Lotion doesn't really help since by the time I realize they are there they are pretty much open wounds, and they take forever to heal on account of the No Gloves/more electric heat/much paper-pushing situation. It's a vicious cycle. I guess I should be thankful that I HAVE hands, because I could be like the cats and push this paper around with my face. THAT would be an issue.

Have I mentioned the Ducks remain #1 in the BCS?

I don't care about #1, so long as it's #1 or #2. Honestly.

Hi Becky! I had fun on Saturday even if it was only for a couple of hours. With everything I had to do after that, I barely made it home 30 minutes before kickoff. No wonder my hair is falling out.

I've been all over the map at work these days and it should be noted that when I am on someone's desk and respond to or send an email, the recipient has no other choice but to think I should remain a point of contact. So I get a LOT of email. Every day. All day. About stuff I can't remember.

I'm going to Mexico in two weeks and so far I have tanned exactly twice. At this rate I won't be allowed in the country. Things simply must be stepped up, but after work it's SO HARD to go straight to the salon and get it knocked out. I wish spray tan worked for me but I have come to the realization that it does not and will never.

There's kind of too much going in my head, but I said I would try, and that's the best I can do. I'll try it again sometime in the next day or two. Plus I have something to bitch about work-wise but if I bitch about it in the middle of it it could ruin what I am expecting to be a successful outcome, so I'll wait until it's over. That's how it works.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Not on Saturday

I have a lot of friends from pretty much everywhere. Moving to different states and countries (okay, one different country) affords me that. It's a good thing, having a lot of friends. Most of them are the kind of friends where, if you haven't talked in a long time, when you DO talk, it's like no time has passed and nobody's feelings are hurt for the distance that has come between.

That being said, I'd like to just say something.

Please don't call me on Saturday. If you're local, you might know what my schedule is, but if you're not, and so many of you are not, you probably don't know. Saturday is football day for me. Generally I am running around trying to get shit done prior to kick off. I've been fairly lucky of late that many of the games have been later in the day, but there is still that occasional 12:30 kick off, like today, and I have a ton to do before I can settle in for the afternoon.

It's not that I don't want to talk to you, it's just that I'm not going to be focused. And I'll be nervous that I won't be able to get you off the phone in enough time to tune in. My interest in your interests is a six-days-a-week gig; on Saturday, I just don't care. Calling in the middle of the game is even worse - I get pissed (not your fault, I know, but still), distracted and irritable when I should be paying attention and focusing all energy to my team.

Thanks to the magic of social media, most of you pretty much know what is going on in my world (nothing. Seriously. Nothing.), and nothing beats a good phone call to catch up. But not on Saturday. And don't take my launching you in to voicemail as a sign that I never want to speak to you again. I do. Any other day of the week.

That being said, Go Ducks!