Putting the "dis" in discrimination

Today we went to Super Telas on Tulum. Joe is having Josefina, the seamstress down the street, make him two Elvis jumpsuits, and she told us we would have the best luck there. Ha.

Everything was fine with the finding-the-fabric part. We had a swatch from some fabric Josefina already had, and we needed 4 meters of it for each suit. Joe picked out the white and then a blue, and then Janet found the material that I had been sort of looking for a skirt that some months ago I told Josefina that I wanted her to make me. Since it is 900 degrees right now I hadn't searched but I figure that during the fall/winter it will be nice to have it. No problems no problems no problems. Then we were looking for the material for the belt to go with the Elvis jumpsuits, and really the only problem I had with that was trying to find the word for "belt". We couldn't find the material but since Josefina thought for sure they would have it, I phoned her and put her on the phone with the manager who was helping me after the boy that got the material deferred to him. All was somewhat fine (after finding the manager again to put him on the phone with Josifina, because the boy was looking at the phone like I was handing him a live rat or something), and we learned that they didn't have what we were looking for. Fine. Check out.

So we go to pay, and Joe hands the girl his money and his factura card. Basically anything you pay for in the course of owning a business, you ask for a factura so that you can deduct it. I get that. I don't get anything else about a factura though, SO, the girl behind the counter asks Joe/me ... something. I didn't understand. Though at first there was no one in line behind us, suddenly while she asks me this question I don't understand, there are like 5 people in line. She asked me like 4 times and I just didn't get it. Finally she hands the factura card and the receipt to another girl who takes it, I assume, to get the factura. I had asked her if the question she was asking had something to do with us not being able to get a factura for it, but she said yes you can, but blah-blah-blah-blah the same question. Frustration. The people in line, the one most directly behind us, a vieja with blue hair to match her dress, started getting pissy.

We stepped back out of the line waiting for the factura, and while I was standing there, UNDERSTANDING SPANISH, the vieja tells the cashier (as she is paying) basically, if you don't understand the language then get the hell out of the way of people who can, and, what the hell are you doing here if you don't understand the language. The guy behind her was agreeing, and the rest of the people in line were laughing. The cashier knew I understood her, and I had to just sit there and take it because what am I gonna do, back talk an old lady in front of a bunch of people in Mexico? I don't think so. So I had to just sit there and look like an idiot who doesn't know anything. It was very frustrating to me. Anyway Joe called Raul and Raul talked to the cashier and what she was asking was did we want the factura itemized. At this point it didn't matter because the other lady was off getting them the factura - she came back, and we left. Fun.

I guess I am accounting this right now because it was the first time in a long time that I felt shitty about not being fluent. I seriously felt like an asshole, especially since I know what that vieja was saying. I remember being in the states and having English speaking people rip on the Spanish speaking people for not knowing the language well. Odds are good they understood them too, and it is a horrible feeling when you hear someone dis you like that. I feel totally useless right now even though 95% of the time I don't get it to my face. It makes me wonder what all the Mexicans think about all the foreighners that come down here to stay that don't make an effort to understand. Or that try but still have difficulty, even. You always hear people say, At least try to speak the language, they like it, but I think it's not a question of them LIKING it; I think, like people in the states think, they feel like we shouldn't be here unless we DO know it, and they're right. Because after all we are guests here, and we need to respect our hosts.

I guess I thought that writing this out would help me feel a little bit better, purge it and all that, but really it doesn't. I still feel shitty because I am walking around here like I belong and really I don't. Not to the people that live here, anyway.