Rain on me

It's raining cats and dogs out there this morning. I woke up in the dark with a kitty looking for love on my hip, kitty biscuits with claws (it's never good to be awoken by kitty biscuits when you really have to go to the bathroom). As I lay there wondering if 5:45 is too early to get up on a Saturday, I heard a slightly familiar sound - running water? Did I live the faucet on trickle for the kitties last night? Nope. Turns out, it's rain. I went back to sleep for another 45 minutes. The kitty didn't give up though, but my bladder almost did. So I got up, in the dark. To rain.

I guess it's been a good summer, weather-wise, but seriously? Even the first rainy morning is kind of a drag for me.

Plus, here's what my horoscope said this morning: "If you are making travel plans today, whether across the country or across town, make sure that you prepare carefully... Avoid large puddles. Your chart says "water" and "travel" mix poorly today." I am not travelling across the country, but I sure do have a lot of errands to run around town. Do I listen to my horoscope? I won't - it's never right when it tells me I have a bright financial future ahead of me. What a risk-taker.

So yesterday, Friday, pretty much sucked. Full moons for some reason are always such a nightmare in my industry. I got just a ton of loan documents, and we couldn't fund anything without practically sawing off an arm and emailing it to the funder. I got called on the carpet for spreading a rumor that I did not spread, and then, for the first time in twelve years in this blasted career, I got a complaint. About my sense of humor. What? Me? People LOVE me. I still can't see past this.

Apparently some broad was covering the desk of a processor for a file that seriously has been active since FEBRUARY. That's pretty much how long it takes to refinance your house these days. Three years ago they were practically handing out loans to anyone riding a bike past a loan officer's apartment; now even the most qualified applicants are being put through the mill as if the root of the downfall of the mortgage industry is their fault, and not the fault of over-zealous loan officers who like to put their own personal spin on the truth. Anyway, these poor borrowers had signed their documents twice (don't get me started on what caused the re-draw - it's just really clear that this lender wasn't in the mood to loan money to them), and I signed them the second time around. It came time to fund on Friday, and the lender dreamed up some crazy condition that morning that seriously is not something you can just GET in an hour. Poor Marci the assistant practically had to whore herself out to the party from which we needed this condition. And that, apparently, was my downfall.

Because when said processor's replacement phoned me to find out if the file was funding today, and I told her about this new condition, and told her what I just typed above about the whoring, she apparently was quite offended. Offended enough to send an email, copied to her own company's president and head of HR, to the branch manager of the Beaverton branch. About my appalling lack of professionalism. Um. Hi! Don't you work for a mortgage company? In 2009? Where your staff is pretty much cashing in bottles and cans to meet their own bills? My guess is the language around there is just slightly more colorful than "whoring". Plus, my success has always been my ability to talk to lender clients they way they want to be talked to - authoritative, confident, and with HUMOR. So pull the stick out of your ass, sweetheart, and go smoke a fucking bowl. You clearly need it.

So that, along with a crazy amount of loan documents, and locks expiring all over the place with this three-day weekend, and being accused of spreading rumors, well, yesterday was just exhausting. I came home and wanted to crawl under a rock and completely chill.

So now, all these errands, and the improbability of avoidng puddles. In the rain. It's a good thing I bounce back pretty well from this kind of shit.

Oh, and if you're still reading and care, the branch manager emailed back that I meant no offense and was heartily sorry. I told her to tell her that if she would like a personal apology I would be happy to provide one. Nobody plays this game better than I do, and it's just words to a girl I will never work with again. I don't think she got a response, but at least for now I still have a job.