Saturday, August 01, 2009

Fear of flying?

I like Friday nights at home almost more than I like Saturday mornings, and I love Saturday mornings. From Friday night's perspective, Saturday lays ahead with so much potential and possibility. There are a thousand things I can do on a Saturday, and somehow Friday night makes them all seem so enticing.

I had a nice long conversation with my friend Di in NYC last night. We talked about a lot of things, but there were two major subjects of the conversation - the first one, well, I think I need to think for a while before I write anything about it, and the other, a possible opportunity for her and her husband to move to another city, in a different region than where she is from and where she has been now for some years. My initial reaction to that was GO! I'm a mover. I encourage anyone to do it if they have the chance.

Which got me thinking about that. I wonder if I could do it again. I had asked her if she had immediately jumped on the 'net to see about housing and neighborhoods and employment and weather, because that's what I would have done (she hadn't, yet, but then again, she isn't Grass-Is-Always-Greener Girl like me so it probably didn't even occur to her). So I did.

I like to imagine myself there, already, see what kind of life I would be living, what my home would look like, the route I might take to work. The people I might meet, the restaurants and bars we would go to, the places we would shop. So much opportunity for the new and different!

But I wonder, though, if I could really truly do it? I mean, now, at my advanced age (I'm kind of kidding). Sure I moved around a lot in my twenties and early thirties, and then there was that move to Mexico when I was 39 and then the subsequent one when I was 41, but I wonder if NOW, at 43, I could pack up the house and move, across the country or across the state, even across the ocean... Has my life become too routined and comfortable? Does that mean I'm growing up?

I think if given the right opportunity, the right circumstances, I could probably do it. Because I think that every time in my life that I made a big change like that I was in a mindset that my life was not moving forward. I think for some reason I was born with the idea that if you are not moving, you are standing still, and if you are standing still, you are not living, and we all know what the opposite of "not living" is. I think that idea is probably the reason I am the person I am (you know, spinster with two cats) (by the way, that isn't REALLY how I describe myself.). The question would be, however, what is the right opportunity and circumstance?

I think, since I've thought about it, yeah, I could totally do it. I think the adventure of it would be enough to calm any worry of change. Though for now I am fine being where I am, my feet aren't "itchy" yet, but there's no telling what the future will bring. And I'm not ruling anything out.


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