Tuesday, July 21, 2009

MFCS in a big huge way.

Is it karma? Am I doing something to just blow my karma out of the water? Does this happen to other people? And if so, am I the only one that makes such a big deal out of it? I don't know. All I know is this:

- There was an ant in the bathroom when I got home last night. Just one, they happen. Then another just one on the floor by the fireplace. Whatever.

- A little while later I was making pasta salad because I am too lazy to be creative about what I make for dinner anymore and pasta salad lasts a good four days, allowing me to not think about dinner for four days, and suddenly one of the kitties dove off the counter (I know, but they don't listen) and ran after something. That something turned out to be a wasp. Or a hornet, I don't know. I was too busy screaming and running around in circles before grabbing the Raid and just spraying it in the general direction of it flying around my dining room. What. The Fuck. It ended up making a break for the window, so I stood there, screaming, and blasting it with Raid until it fell into the window track and died, slowly, painfully (for me), in a river of Raid. I can't take this shit. Because, like, where did it come from? Is there a nest? Is there a crack it came in from in? Does it have friends and will they come looking for it? The kitties are no help because apparently their mother running around in circles and screaming scares off their hunting instincts.

- This morning I got up and went to the bathroom and pet the kitties and la la la and then went to the sink to brush my teeth and there was a big, black, fat, motherfuckingcocksucker of a spider on the counter. More screaming and running. To the middle of the bedroom, where something made me look up and there was aNOTHER one on the fucking ceiling. I ran screaming to the kitchen for the Raid, came back in and sprayed the ceiling one, which fell, probably into the wind from the fan, and then went to the bathroom and sprayed that one, and then it wouldn't die, but it kept faking like it was, until I finally stepped on it, screaming louder because I can't hear that crunch or, well, I don't know what I'd do. The other one, it's anybody's guess where it ended up because I can't find it. I didn't dose it nearly enough to kill it right away, but I think it's in my bed somewhere and though I have half-heartedly looked for it, I know what will happen. Or it could be in the pile of shoes by the dresser that has all my shit on it. Or it could be in all the shit on that dresser. I'm sick. It's probably in the shoes I am wearing today. You know it is.

So yeah, good morning. I'm a ball of fucking nerves and I am calling the property management people this morning and telling them I can't live like this, and yes, I could run a vacuum once in a while and maybe declutter the room, but still, get somebody over there TODAY and do something about this. Because I will not live with wasps.



At 10:07 AM, July 21, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Good Almighty. Just reading this blog makes me feel sick to my stomach. All I can say is, if it were me, I'd be packing to move as we speak. So...kudos for you for actually doing something about it. YIKES. (You can come stay with me while fumigation happens, if you'd like. Bella would like some company for a couple of days. Just an option. BH

At 10:08 AM, July 21, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't believe I left the last parenthesis off. I hate when I read stuff and they do that. Am I too picky? Does anal retentive have a hyphen?

At 12:56 PM, July 21, 2009, Blogger My Way said...

Is it bad I found this blog really funny?

At 8:57 AM, July 22, 2009, Anonymous Barbie said...

First off, it is not karma; it is nature. And, for some reason, it's happening in your condo and your pm will pay for the problem.
The exterminator will work to get it taken care of. I would quit spraying raid because of the kitties and beat the shit out of them with an old shoe, like I do.
I have a bug guy come quarterly and I rarely see a critter and when I do, I scream loudly, they stop in their tracks in total fear and I whack them with the shoe, even the latest hardback book I'm reading if that's handier. Wash off the cover and away I go. We were born with this affliction.


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