When stupid things happen to smart people

So how long do eggs last? I have two cartons with varying numbers of eggs in them, the most recent dated sometime in July. I don't think I ever noticed a date on eggs. I remember taking them out of the carton and putting them in those little egg holder thingies in the refridgerator door. Once you've done that how do you keep track of the date? Eggs aren't like milk - I mean, what would happen if I cracked one open right now? Would a chicken come out? Would it be moldy (how could it be, it's in a shell)? I am quite sure that in my 41 years I have eaten some eggs past their date, without ever knowing it, and I'm not dead or you wouldn't be reading this. But suddenly, it matters.

Well, not really, I don't eat a lot of eggs.

Yesterday I went to work in the morning (which itself is kind of funny since I ran into my boss and that Tim guy that works for Security Title upstairs) and took care of some things and left at 11, then popped by a bank to deposit some money for a client, then saw the "For Sale By Owner" store that I knew existed but didn't know where but since I spotted it I figured I would drop in, gave them some business cards, and then off to the mall where I spent some cash. Still need some shoes, can't find any, and really need to get some today. Really I do. Then I came home, watched the Duck game (well, most of it, because I CANNOT watch the full game as I am a jinx), took a little nipper nap, then watched "Good Will Hunting" on On Demand (my good God almighty I LOVE THAT MOVIE) and then a Netflix DVD. I did so much that when I woke up this morning I was convinced it was mid-work-week. Freaked myself out since it was 7:30. I find it is just a whole lot better for me to do nothing on Saturday and feel guilty about it. At least then I know it's Sunday.

My boys won yesterday, though, so it beats last weekend. Brownies have a bye, and frankly it is as close to a win as we might get this year (besides that Raiders win, that was a good thing, and much needed for my morale).

So a couple of weeks ago I would find in the middle of the day that I was getting a missed call on my cell from the same number. I didn't recognize it, and they always seemed to call while I was outside or going to the restroom or generally away from my office. I never bothered to phone the number back and they never left a message. So one evening, I was just finishing up for the day and decided to see who it was since they had called three times that day alone and it was starting to intrigue me/piss me off. I phoned it just after 6 and it was the FUCKING OREGONIAN (our local paper here in Portland, or the biggest one anyway).

I used to get the Oregonian when I first moved in. I got the Sunday only and then I caved in and got the daily too because they offered it to me for free. Next thing I know I have an entry hall full of unread newspapers in plastic bags. They were like bunnies for God sake, just multiplying and never being read. I couldn't take them to the recycling bin fast enough - I probably take trash to the bin once a week, and by that time with the papers the load was like 85 lbs. Talk about no motivation. So procrastinator that I am I would let them stack up.

Pretty soon I wasn't even reading the Sunday paper, so irritated I was with the waste in my entry hall. I finally called the paper and said ENOUGH. They stopped it, but they sent me a bill (or maybe it got crossed in the mail) for like the week beginning when I would have no delivery at all. I ignored it - the dates on the bill were for a paper-free week.

So now I am hearing this message as I am returning this number that is being called no lie twice a day at LEAST for a week, you've reached the Oregonian, our hours are from 8am to 6pm... I was allowed to leave a message. So I did - a very, very STERN message indicating that I am NOT a customer, QUIT calling me, I do not CHOOSE to be a customer in the future, and if I DID, I have the ability to decide for MYSELF and make that call. SLAM (well, as much as you can slam a cell phone... OFF!?). I was pretty proud of myself when I started thinking maybe I owed them money (oh no, $16 a month!) but I let that slide.

So then, Thursday, I am just living my life, working away, when the cell rings. It's that GOD DAMNED NUMBER. So I answer it, mean-like. And what happens? I AGREE TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER AGAIN. WHAT is the matter with me?? After hanging up, I tried to make myself feel better by saying that he did a good job selling it to me - personable, friendly, not aggressive - but let's face it. I caved. I put myself into a situation I did not want or need. Sure I got it for $8 every 2 months, but I DON'T NEED THE SUNDAY PAPER.

This morning I got up, went to the stoop, and there it was. And now it is laying in my entry hall.