Dilemmas
I have been presented today with an opportunity that is making me sick to my stomach. I won't say what it is just yet, but it's really eating at me. I need some sort of a sign to make me feel like I am going in the right direction. So many things will change my previous plans if I go with this decision. I know that I have put myself through some tremendous changes in the last year and a half, from the moving there and the adaptation and the living and then the planning the reentry and then the reentry itself and the let down and then this. Remember that year off and how normal and calm I was? Yeah, it's gone. What should I do? It also doesn't help that it makes me feel like it is something so permanent that I may never get back to where I feel like I want to be. But do I really REALLY want to be there? I mean for permanent? I mean, with all the rest of the stuff that goes with it? With the no money and the buggins and all that? Am I making the right decision? Was it the right decision to come back to begin with? WHAT SHOULD I DO? Shelia said to remember that nothing is forever, and I know she's right, but good Lord. Why does it feel like it is, almost? Why is THIS almost harder than the whole MOVING OUT OF THE COUNTRY thing? I just don't get it. I just don't get why I am having these feelings, the pit in my stomach, the feeling of making the wrong decision. Glory. I am gonna go to bed and sleep on it, and it's only 9:14.
I'm sure this made no sense but any good positive energy you want to send my way, feel free.
posted by JJ @ 9:06 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
Joyce, I´m sending positive vibes your way!
Thanks Becky - I think it helped! Seriously. And were you posting that at 12:05am YOUR time or MY time???
I hate making decisions! Gemini that I am. Can you ask the Angel cards??
JaJaJa, 12:05 AM, my time - it´s the only time I can pry Sergio away from the computer! Hope you are doing ok with the decision-making. Do what makes you happy.
Ok I'm really stressed out by your post because I thought we had this all figured out. I think you are making a big hullabaloo out of something that you don't need to. I mean you can, which is what of course you are doing because that is what joyce does. Hope to see you online. Want to smack you and make you speak up.
Joyce, lots of positive vibes your way...Funny, I havn't answered your email yet, but I find the time to read your blog......What to do? Do what your gut tells you is the right thing for you--no one esle--you...But don't do it before we have a chance to get together...Can't wait to read or hear about what is going on...............Big hugs.....
JJ - good grief! Whatever it is you're trying to decide it appears as if you have made this decision into its own living, breathing entity!! Whatever you do, do not make rash decisions. Those are always the worst. You wake up breathing every day and that is a great thing. Positive vibe from the most conservative mid-westerner you know...Keep waking up breathing everyday, take care of business, don't just go for what makes you happy, but what will result in some security!!! I think the lack of security is often what drives us to crisis mode! Hmmm...not as positive as I wanted that to sound, but I guess I'm not gonna sugar coat things. Approach the decision like work...write out what it is that you want and need and then evaluate it. And, stop, stop, stop making this "thing" bigger than life!! :)
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