Thursday, September 17, 2009

The job I want

It's a dream job, really. I'm surprised more people aren't on to it.

Yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of phoning the offices of Freddie Mac. We have a file where the seller is a lender that was recently shut down by the powers that be due to basically fraudulent activity and general badness. The active loans, meaning the ones that aren't yet bank-owned, are now being serviced by another, much more popular (and better regulated? Maybe.) servicer, but that's not the issue. If I want something from them it's pretty easy to get it. But this particular property was in foreclosure and ultimately went back to the lender, who now only exists to dispose of its inventory.

Here's the problem - after a file is foreclosed, a trustee's deed is recorded with the county and the lender who foreclosed is now at liberty to execute the sale documents. This property, however, was deeded to Freddie Mac, with the intention of Freddie Mac then deeding it over to the aforementioned lender. But it didn't happen. They SAY it did, but it didn't. I mean, it just didn't. And now I can't get anyone at Freddie Mac to believe me.

The dream job? "Customer Service" rep at Freddie Mac. Because, basically, they don't have to do anything. They don't have to know anything, do anything, find anything out, do any research... nothing. People, like me, call them, and they just tell you they can't help you. Furthermore, if you aren't the first person to call on the file because of this situation, you better by God have your shit together, or they'll "answer" your question and then close the file to any further inquiries.

So here's the deal. The realtor gets a prelim and sees it is vested to the wrong party. He phones that part and says, Hey, the seller on this file is supposed to be "ABC Lender". And they say, Well, yeah, it is. And he says, But it's not vested to "ABC", and they say, Sure it is, we did a deed. And so he says, Mkay, thanks! And calls us and says, Fix it.

Okay we sort of can't. Because even though they SAID they did a deed, they didn't. I even had the title officer pull EVERY DEED recorded in tri-county in 2009 where this lender was the grantee. Nothing. So when I phoned yesterday to tell them this, the rep says to me, well somebody already phoned about this and we answered the question and now there is NO WAY for us to open up another inquiry. And the file has been wiped from the face of the planet. NO ONE CAN HELP YOU. Despite my best (and most controlled) efforts, she refused to further help me. And now there is a property in Washington County that will never, ever, ever, EVER be able to be sold to someone else because somebody at Freddie Mac dropped the ball and now nobody wants to make an effort to fix it.

So the job I want is where I don't have to do anything all day but frustrate escrow officers, supply wrong information, sit quietly on the phone while the caller tried to figure out a solution, shut down that solution and then tell them to have a nice day. I wonder what else they do, while they aren't doing anything else. Surfing the net? Crocheting? Paying their bills online?

I gotta get me a job like that. But I'm afraid sooner or later my brain might turn to mush and I might actually ENJOY not helping people, offering no assistance, being rude, and having no consequences to any of it. So maybe not. ONE of us living in this country needs to have some kind of a conscience.


At 6:05 AM, September 18, 2009, Blogger Tulum Living said...

jajajajajajajajajajajajajaaj!!!! I do not miss escrow? I miss Bento Larry from the fountain... but escrow--- not in the slightest. I miss you though!

At 1:44 PM, September 18, 2009, Blogger Gringa-n-Mexico said...

I want to be that Ice Cream taster guy that works for Ben & Jerry's. He uses a gold spoon!

GAHH dude, I got stressed out just READING this! What a bunch of jerk offs.

At 4:22 AM, September 19, 2009, Anonymous Knittygirl said...

Ya know I hear you! Does it not just make you nuts!?! I have the pleasure of another person in ANOTHER DEPARTMENT who doesn't know anything about MY job but thinks they do...don't even get me started. WOW!


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