The Value of Friends

I think I might be coming out of the dark. Some.

Winter is obviously not a good season on me. This winter, however, I have had the opportunity to reconnect with some old friends, and that makes me happy. We're constantly evolving, we humans, and sometimes, if you're like me at all, we need a little break from the present to recharge.

I have always had great friends, the kind of friends where, even if you don't talk to them for a long time, you can just pick up where you left off like nothing happened. Even when plenty has happened. To them, to you, to the people around us. I've always believed that your history makes you the person people want to be around (or not, I guess) so one should regret nothing. Every person has their challenges and it's how you handle them that makes you the person you are today.

Thanks to the magic of the internets, I have found myself in that place where friends from the past are coming back to my present, and I love that. During these last hermit-like months of mine, I drifted into obscurity (I don't like that for me) without really realizing it. Work, home, the kits - that was pretty much my life. I mean, it's not like it was a bad life: it was safe. I lost some of my social skills and got into some routines that it would kind of freak me out to break. My inbox grew dusty and my phone rang less. I didn't notice it because I was to busy making sure I kept all of my feelings around me, like a glass case. This blog suffered because I never did anything of value to report (I still haven't, by the way, but at least there's hope for it). I didn't realize what I was missing and it turns out I was missing a lot.

I know what I need to flourish and be the person I was meant to be. I need people around me that make me laugh, and think, and care, and nurture. I need to be the light in someone else's life. I need people around me that will brighten my own existance. I need to feel. Because I think I was starting to stop feeling. And when you stop feeling, you aren't living, and when you aren't living, you are dead. I feel like I have too much to give to be that.

Now that I am resurfacing back into the land of the living, I find myself laughing to myself, relishing memories and looking forward to making more. I could not and cannot do that without having my friends around me, even virtually. Knowing someone cares about you gives you strength and vitality, and I need that, like I need sunlight and warmth through a cold winter.

Knowing I have and have always had such great friends makes the light I need grow stronger. So thank you.