And then people wonder why I rarely leave the house on the weekend

I knew it wouldn't take long to come up with something to bitch about.

It's Saturday, and I spent about an hour on the phone with Barbie while I coffee'd up and waited for my sheets to dry. Rather than shower for really no apparent reason, and since my only intention today was to hit Target and go home, I decided to make Sunday be the shower day and threw on a sweater and jeans and hit the road. Kinda forgot to look in the mirror. Bad idea. Turns out the remnants of a few Jaegerbombs still lingered on the sweater I grabbed. I noticed this about half way to my destination, considered turning around, and then decided Fuck it, I give this much of a shit about the other patrons of the Target.

In my small errand, however, I found a bunch of other things that irritate me right now.

So like remember older cars and how if you cracked the window in them in the rain they had those little ridges on them that made the rain not come down like a curtain of water all over the inside of your door? That doesn't happen anymore. God help all smokers. I put a dishtowel along the window console (you know, with all the electrical stuff there that, it seems to me, would short out and kill me if it got wet) every time I light up. Is it just me? What if you DIDN't smoke, but just wanted a little fresh air? I know everyone is out to get ME, but it appears now that they are also out to get smokers in general, what with the lighter-and-ashtray-are-options-and-not-standard thing they got going on with new cars now. Hm.

There seems to be an increase in those guys that hold the big signs on the side of the street trying to get drivers to come in to their store. You know what I'm talking about? Like the furniture stores when they went out of business were big on those. Guy on the street waving this sign around like a jackass all hours. I noticed there is one now outside a pawn shop in Beaverton, and then today seriously there were like 9 other ones all down Canyon Road. Not one car around me was convinced to go in. What's the point? And how much are they paying these guys? Furthermore, where are they GETTING these guys? Are they circling these ads in the paper and going, "Hmmm, I could do that.."? And in the driving rain no less.

Which of course leads me to the phenomenon that the rain is only torential when you are outside in it. From the car to the Target, downpour. If I wasn't actually IN the Target, I could see what I am sure is happening: clouds parting, birds singing, rain blazing, until I hit the cashier and it starts to cloud up again. From the Target to the car, downpour. Once in the car, merely sprinkles. Seriously.

Also, too, you know. It's winter. In Portland. So like, most days, it is barely what you could call daylight. So do me a favor. If you must dart into traffic on Canyon Road, arguably the most trafficky road in suburban Portland, and on foot, in the driving rain, in December, don't wear all dark colors. No one can see you. It's pouring (because someone somewhere is coming out of a Target at that moment) and it's gray and gloomy, and you are in a Ninja outfit for God's sake. Deciding all of a sudden that you HAVE to cross the street. I don't want to be the poor son of a bitch that hits you, but frankly, somebody should, just so you learn your damn lesson.

For me, an admittedly selfish person, to have to tell people (in my head, you know, I am not that confrontational) (unless really provoked) that it isn't about them, and to flipping pay attention and realize there are other people around you in the Target or on the road, well, it's pretty sad. I have my chores, and I want to get in and get out with the best of them. But I don't like, stop my cart in the middle of the aisle, or cut in front of others in line, or just barrell right the hell through a sea of other carts. I'm considerate. Take a lesson.

I told you yesterday that I was going to spend the weekend focussed on me, so I took care of the most important of my errands, and now I am bound for the sofa for a little bit. Hopefully the kits and I are on the same page. Hopefully for them. I'm cranky.