Running willy-nilly through my mind

I haven't blogged all week so I feel like I should, but I am not really sure I have much to say. I just finished week one of my two-week notice, and it's month end, but it seems whenever I quit I am always way busier all of a sudden and it's a bummer because the way I see it, I should be screwing around all day and not working. But no. Still in at 7, still out closer to 6 than to 5. I can't say (this time) that it doesn't matter because soon I will be lounging all day and basking in the sun and living the life of Riley, because the reality is soon I will be working even longer hours and hoping to get a couple of hours of sun here and there while I am at it. This is not a bad thing. I came back to escrow thinking I missed it and realizing almost right away that it's a thankless job. I don't think anyone out there reading this is a lender or real estate agent, but if you are, please remember the importance your closer has in the transaction. You know, the one writing your checks. Remember that whole adage about more flies with honey? Yeah, keep that in mind. Not many people do.

So. I haven't really accomplished much OUTSIDE of my head yet, but I have plenty INSIDE my head, so that's something. Janet comes here on Wednesday night, and my goal is by that time is to have decided what stays and what goes and where it is actually going to stay. Kim has offered me her basement, but my concern right now is if I have too much stuff to put there. I just don't know. I am really re-thinking getting rid of the sofa. So on that note, today I will be calling some storage places JUST TO SEE if perhaps it isn't too much to keep them in a storage unit for a year. The idea being that when a year is up, if I am still happy, I can figure out what to do with the stuff then. It makes sense, really. I can't really do much but clean out the crap anyway until it's next weekend, because I am not going to live in an empty apartment for a week and a half. So today's agenda is all about dividing stuff and cleaning and laundry and that is fine because it is a rainy day out anyway.

I told all but one of my handful of clients that I am leaving, and most of them have said it didn't surprise them. Work is an easy mess to clean up, I have only been here since May and really don't have much accumulated. Plus, what can they say? Allegedly there will be a little going-away on Thursday night, so that should be fun, and then Friday I am sure I will leave early. That will be that. Pack my clothes and go.

I am flipping terrified.

I am wondering if I felt this same way the last time I moved. I just don't remember it. The last time was finite though, it had a beginning and an end. This one just doesn't. I have definite options for the future, both here in Oregon and elsewhere if I so choose, but for some reason I just can't seem to shake this wierd feeling. It isn't like intuition or doom or anything like that, it's just fear. You know, of not having a root.

It will change when I am there, I am sure of it. But right now, sola in my apartment, on a rainy Saturday in March, I am just kind of afraid.