Too bad I haven't bought stamps in like 15 years.

(I'm sure I'm going to get some grief for this)

Dear Bicycler:

Hi. I saw you earlier on my way home from work, and I thought maybe you didn't realize a couple of things, so I thought I'd remind you.

The truth is, I didn't actually see you until the van in front of me going 20 miles per hour in a 35 mph zone finally had room to go around you. Then I saw you. Probably because you're so much smaller than the van. And my Civic. Do you remember seeing me? It was raining pretty hard and you were all covered up with rain gear and a helmet so I doubt you did. Since you're NOT a car, you don't have a rear view mirror anyway, so I'm positive you didn't see the look on my face when I realized that you were the reason I almost missed the longest light on the planet with a long list of things I had to get done before I could go home tonight. My windows were up on account of the rain, so I'm guessing you didn't hear all the names I called you at the same time. So that's probably good.

See, here's the thing, Bicycler: you're not a car. And as such, you don't get to ride in the middle of my car-intended street. You have these littler lanes, on the side of the road, out of the way of big vans and medium-sized sedans, and they're the perfect fit for you and your ride. I'm sure you've seen them, most of them have "BIKE LANE" painted in astoundingly white letters so you know where to go. Car lanes don't need those signs because pretty much everyone knows that cars don't have many other places to go but streets and the driveway. So basically it's understood out there in traffic which vehicle goes where.

I wonder if you think that helmet is going to offer much protection should you one day find yourself slowing traffic almost to a halt in front of a really angry motorist who simply doesn't care what happens to him and is driven only by the red spots he sees when somebody really pisses him off. I also wonder what would happen if one day I just decided to drive in YOUR lane instead of my own, at like the normal posted speed, coming right at you with no real warning because your head is covered in plastic. I know I would get in a lot of trouble if I got caught, so is this your motivation? You know that in this town nobody will give YOU any shit for riding in an area that is not designated for you and causing all manner of traffic jams? Because we're so green and all that? It seems like a bit of a risk, but I guess that's the chance you take when you are trying to prove something.

I don't ride a bike to work or to the supermarket, mostly because I don't own one right now, but also because I have a lot of stuff that I have to carry around with me. So I have a car, and I'm sure that smug look on your face means that you find me disdainful and selfish while I single-handedly pollute the atmosphere. That's okay, it's a fairly fuel-efficient car, and while I'm not really into science and don't get how all that equates to the effect on our air quality, I think I'm maybe a little bit more responsible now than I was when I was driving that '78 Chevy Nova. Plus I feel pretty safe in it, what with it's steel frame and all those airbags. Which, you know, you don't have. Even remotely.

So I guess what I just wanted to remind you, dear Bicycler, is that you are not a car. You're just a guy, a human body with no real protection surrounding you, on a little non-motorized vehicle that relies solely on your legs to move faster, throwing yourself out into traffic on a rainy Tuesday night, risking others perhaps but most certainly yourself, and pissing people off that you never knew you shouldn't piss off. Not people like me, but big, mean, pissed off people on the edge of despair that might not be nice enough to just drop you a note.

Take care out there,

TtheD