Light

I'm feeling better but in weird ways I'm not. Like I feel like there is some crazy pressure system in my head, and suddenly at about 4pm today I couldn't hear out of my right ear. It's not infected and not even stuffed, it's just ... pressured. I'm all full of goo in my head too and I hate that. I wish I could just go to sleep for like a day and wake up to normal.

It's been feeling like Spring. False hope, I know, but the sun has been shining somewhat, and it's light now when I go to work and light when I get home. I don't leave the lamp on in the kitchen (the one with the lightbulb that hasn't burned out since 2003, no lie, I've told you about this. It's one of those swirlie ones you used to be able to get from PGE and when I went to Cancun in December I left it on the entire time because I knew I'd be home at midnight and I'm afraid of the dark. I do the same in the winter because I hate coming home to a dark house. It is on all the bleeping time and it just doesn't burn out. That's something.). Pitchers and catchers have reported and it just feels like Spring. I'd say people are in better moods at work but today wasn't a good example. Maybe there's something up with the barometric pressure, which is something I don't understand and therefore shouldn't be using as an excuse for anything. It could be because for some reason the heat is broken on our floor at the KOIN and it gets to be about 80 degrees in the afternoon in there and all that inspires me to do is take a nap. You'd think after a week they'd fix something like that.

I am just exhausted right now. I feel like I drank my weight in Coors Light last night and didn't get any sleep, but the truth is I went out to dinner with some friends, got home at 8:30 and was in bed by 9:45, had absolutely nothing to drink but water (and not enough of it - the only reason we left when we did is my throat completely dried up and I was incapable of speaking. I realize it was the Original Taco House and my total bill was $7.45, but I planned on overtipping until she just never came around to refill the waters.), and even slept in an additional 10 minutes. So why am I so flipping tired?

I have no answers. I don't even have anything to say. But I'm here, because this is what I do, and it's almost Spring, and baseball is starting up again, and that means there's hope. And I'm just happy to be alive and doing my thing.