Saturday, February 06, 2010

Thinking out loud

I want to start out by apologizing for my last post. It was bad. It was really bad. The idea seemed like an okay one when it was in my mind, and since my TV is on a lot and I see a lot of really bad commercials I figured it would fly. But it didn't. It was poorly written and my head just wasn't in the right place when I wrote it. So let's forget it ever happened and move on, shall we?

So it's not even noon on Saturday and I'm already home from all my Saturday-running-around errands. I'm stunned. I owe it all to the 9am wax appointment (which, by the way, has taken a turn again. I don't know what it is with my wax situation. The girl that I liked and actually scheduled appointments in advance with suddenly quit the salon and hasn't been heard from since. By me anyway. I can't win. And so the battle continues.) that gets me up, showered, coffeed and dressed before 11am, which is usually when I start my errands. This is great because I have a ton of shit I need to get done today and tomorrow.

So my Aunt Jean died this last week. She was my mom's brother's wife (he died in like 2000 or something) and lived in an assisted living facility in Ontario. She had Alzheimer's and hasn't recognized me in a year, but when we saw her in November and she didn't recognize Barbie it was pretty bad. Barbie was her favorite. So Barbie, my mom, and I are all loading up the Lexus and heading east on Monday. Barbie will be giving the eulogy.

But can I just mention this? It's February. I don't like driving over Cabbage Hill in July let alone February. Barbie assures me all will be well but yeah, um, I'm still not feeling good about it. Maybe it's all those dreams I've had where my car goes careening off the side of a cliff. I mean I know dreams like that just signify a loss of control in one's life, but it still doesn't make me wonder if sometimes I am just really psychic and can foretell my future. At any rate, there is still plenty of hair left on my head and I haven't had anything stress me out enough to make it fall out in clumps in a while, so I guess this is just the best option for me to worry about.

This also means I will be off work until Thursday. I don't like that so much. My job is to cover people who are off work, and I don't think it's fair to not be there suddenly. Of course nobody really has any control over something like a death, so what can I do? But still.

And you know, I like going to eastern Oregon. I don't necessarily like the circumstances, but it's a good-feeling place for me. And with any luck it will be somewhat bright out - it doesn't rain over there as much as it does here - and maybe that will help pull me out of the funk that still lingers and causes me to write really shitty posts like the last one. And, really, this one, but I have to write something.

So that's the update. Sad to leave my stint at Orenco because my God we have fun over there. Every office has its good points, though, and I continue to be happily employed. For now. January was an horrific month. So...

Maybe now I have something else to worry about. It might take my mind off Cabbage Hill.


At 8:51 AM, February 07, 2010, Anonymous Jackie said...

Good luck with the drive. I know when my sister and mom lived in Bend I never drove over there from about November - March.

At 2:18 PM, February 09, 2010, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sorry about your aunt. Hopefully the drive was uneventful and you can enjoy seeing some family even under the sad circumstances. BH


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