Not even a memory

So I was cruising Facebook the other night and I saw that a friend of mine, from my college days, who I have been real live friends with pretty much since then, more or less, friended a guy we were all real live friends with back when we were young and naive and fresh-faced. It was at PCC (sure, it's a college, but I have a hard time saying, "Back when I was in college" and referring to PCC as "college"), in like 1983/84, and Jeri and I befriended a group of boys from Lake Oswego. We all had fun and made great memories and then, like everything else, life goes on and people leave Oregon and then one day someone dreams up the idea of social networking and voila, there they are, right in front of you, 20-something years later.

So my real live (and Facebook) friend phones me to tell me that he friended this guy, and I should friend him too. So I sent a request. With a message. You know, like, Hey, long time, what's up? I was happy to see, later in the day, that he accepted the request. So I sent him another message, again, nondescript, you seem well, etc. But I ended it with, I kind of feel like you might not remember me...

And you know what? He didn't! My feelings aren't hurt or anything, but I am kind of, well, surprised. I tried to come up with some stuff that he might remember, where his memory might have been jogged (we never made out or anything, he's gay) (but I don't know if he really wanted to believe it at the time, so all of his ideal-girls were like totally untouchable superbabes and celebrities. So, you know, we all knew. He was like the George Michael of our group). Nothing has worked so far. But isn't it kind of funny, that one person can remember something so vividly, and another not at all? Makes me wonder what I've forgotten, or who, over the years. I don't think anything, really. I mean, I have a pretty good memory. And I've always been one to know the importance of memories, even when you are smack dab in the middle of making them. So it's odd to me. Surprising. Worse yet, sobering. Nobody wants to not be a memory.

I'm not going to talk about the fact that, after yesterday's just overall horrificness, today wasn't that great either. It wasn't as bad, but it wasn't that great either. It started out sunny. Well. It actually started out dark, and with me stumbling to the bathroom only to find my cats torturing a spider and then finally eating it (I guess it's good to know they are doing what I pay them to do), and then walking out to the kitchen after my shower and finding kitty vomit on the kitchen counter, and THEN it was sunny. I told myself I wouldn't let that hinder my pursuit of a good day, and truth be told, I accomplished more in the first hour of work than I did the entire Wednesday before it. But as the day wore on things started getting out of control again, didn't have time to eat anything so I became my surly-groggy-snappy self, wasn't getting the results I wanted, and had to listen to an awful lot of whining. Which I didn't put up with. Which will probably garner complaints. Maybe. Anyway, I second-guess myself at work sometimes and then I think that the person I am covering won't want me on their desk again and then I think, Jesus, I do a lot for a floater, so get over it, but all the arguing in my head doesn't make the day any better, so I finally went home, and am exhausted, and am going to bed way before my bed time.

Because tomorrow, God damn it, is going to be a good day. It just is.