Saturday, July 19, 2008

Sometimes it's all about the critters

So it's been a week in the new casita. Here's a brief rundown.

Kitties resurfaced on Sunday night and enjoyed the long hallway to run up and down relentlessly. They sound like a herd of antelope so it's a good thing I am on the first floor.

Ants! I put down kitty food in the kitchen, went to run an errand, came back, ants all over the kibble. I moved the kibble to my room while the Raid fumes lingered in the kitchen, came home from another errand, ants all over the food in my bedroom. Shelia suggested Ortho Max Home Defense. Monday night I doused the entire apartment and locked the kits in my room. Tuesday day I doused my bedroom and locked the kittens OUT. No ants. And nothing else, I thought.

Friday night I got home from work to a big (really, big. Not just exaggerating here)spider on my bedroom wall. Very sad. Doused it with Raid and found that it is now time to buy more Raid. Ortho Max Home Defense clearly does not work on spiders. Shit.

I don't smoke inside the apartment so this really cuts down on my usage. It's a good thing since I have never been so broke. Although trust me when I tell you by the time I am ready to walk out the door in the morning I am practically diving into my car.

Today I go clean the other place and empty out what else is left in there. There isn't much, but it's odd-sized stuff, like my pizza stone and a chip-and-dip someone gave me a while back. It shouldn't take long as it is a small place, but I hate this part. Oh well. It's not like it's really sunny out right now.

Oh and I have to tell you this deal - so I had been in Lincoln Tower and then I was needed in Orenco Station, so I was going to split some time but ended up really spending the rest of the week in Orenco. Anyway, Rita in there is in to trying different things health-related, so Thursday she brings in these two machines. One is an electric foot pad thingie that, when you set your feet on it for like 30 minutes, it sends electric shocks (jolts?) up through your feet, killing parasites and all stuff along the way. I did not try that one, but I do want to.

The second was this foot bath, oh my hell, I don't know what the secret was, but you hook it up to this other thing and set your feet in a water bath with this OTHER thing in it, and it churns around and sends some sort of ampage and some God damn thing, but pretty soon all manner of CRAP comes out of your feet and floats around in the bath and Mother of God it was just some crazy shit. I did it for about 40 minutes, maybe a little less. There is a little guide that tells you what all this stuff is and what it means, black specks are heavy metals, brown means liver, white foamy stuff is cholesterol. Parasites come out too (Rita says they are dead but frankly I saw one waving its little tail at me), and deep read blood-clot-looking things and holy shit, after like 20 minutes I am sitting in this just disgusting pool of bile, I don't know what it all was. Plus she gives you a magnifying glass to get an even closer look at it. It was definitely crazy. You are supposed to do it like once a week or something. I am so going back to do it again.

Afterward, I felt like I had had a really good massage, like I felt looser, and I just wanted to drink the hell out of water. All the girls in the office did it, except Jodi, as she just didn't want to know what all was inside her. I was afraid to eat afterward, thinking the food would fall into my shoes or something. It was really quite the day in Orenco.

Well I have killed enough time, so I had best be getting my shit together and go feed Tom's cat and clean out that dang old apartment. It will be over soon and life will be normal as we know it. Just get me through this weekend...


At 11:58 AM, July 19, 2008, Anonymous Barbie said...

Call John, my pest guy, and quit spraying raid around. It stains walls and doesn't work. CALL THE PEST MAN FOR GOD'S SAKE, NOW.

I want to try that foot bath. Who cleans it out after each use. I do not want to catch crap from some other person, but I would like to see what the hell is floating around in my bod.

At 7:52 AM, July 23, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm relieved to know that battling bugs is not a "south of the border" phenomenon. Long Live King Raid!

At 10:37 AM, July 23, 2008, Blogger Mexico "Way" said...

"I was afraid to eat afterward, thinking the food would fall into my shoes or something."

Best quote ALL DAY. What the heck is this foot bath thing? That's some voodoo shit I'm tellin you!


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