Disappointed

People continue to disappoint me.

It hasn't been the greatest of days around here. I am finding that the only people who seem to "get" me are my clients. And even though I am intent on firing a long-time one next week, for the most part they are good, smart, considerate people. They want their business closed and they want someone with a little personality and skill to do it. The one I am firing has his good points, but I am tired of putting up with his crap, and so therefore I am parting company after 10 years. That's life.

You know, it's not like I can afford to fire a client. I feel like I am back at Brand X. Can't seem to get marketed. And it's funny, too, because like I said, the only people I am really gelling with these days are clients. So figure that one out.

Our marketing department is designed to go out and get us clients. Back when I started in this business, we were all pretty busy and didn't have time to do lunches and all that stuff. The marketing reps did it. I had a great rep when I was at the first company I worked for, AnnaMarie. Oh my hell. She fucking rocked. She could walk into any office and own it. She just had that ease. She brought me more business than anyone I have ever worked with, and she was enormous fun. After I left that company and came to First Am, I had a newbie rep hired into the Hillsboro office (she's still with the company). I had plenty of business (but never say no to more) and I told her - I am too busy to go out and about. I will do appreciation lunches but not "I want your business" lunches. You bring them to the door and I will keep them here. She never really got it. She continued to harp on me about going out. My feeling is, if they haven't given you any business, why do they get a free lunch? They haven't done anything yet!

Like I said, she's still with the company and she is still doing the same thing. She doesn't sell the closer. She won't cold call and all she wants to do is go to lunch. Today she came in to meet with me about our goals for this year (whatever, like it makes a flipping difference), and when I vetoed just about everything she threw at me client-wise and told her what WOULD bring me the business, she changed the subject. Later I found out that a few weeks ago she slammed me pretty hard to another couple of reps. The reason why she can't market me is because I am still wearing clothes I wore 2 years ago. I am not kidding you.

So what I am finding is that if you are a marketing rep in my company, you can pretty much do what you want, not produce and still stay employed.

As for me, I get to NOT have any orders and NOT get any new business and hope like hell that when layoffs are mentioned again (and they were mentioned today) I am not on the block. It's a vicious circle - don't want to spend my money on new clothes in case I get laid off, but will probably get laid off if I wear slacks from 2004.

Disappointing.