Getting to thanks.

Lame, right? It's like anything else in my life: a big woosh of activity and then.. stop. Like I was having Sunday morning coffee about a month ago with Neighbor Geoff and he had just gotten his new iPhone 4s. ALL I WANTED after that was an iPhone 4s. I called the Best Buy daily and then every other day and then every week and then.. nothing. Meh. How many stupid questions can I actually ASK Siri, anyway? It's not that I have patience waiting for the fervor to die down, it's that something more shiny got in the way. What, I can't say, but I am easily distracted and sometimes an effort just isn't worth it.

I have been MIA mostly because these last couple of weeks have just about killed me work-wise. Just about. Like last night I had this throb on the side of my head that I was sure was a stroke, but now it's gone because I am past the thirteen hour days and ready to jet off to a warm and sunny locale. So when I get home after a thirteen hour work day, the last thing I'm thinking of is sitting down to tell YOU folks about it. You don't want to hear about how I have to bite my tongue when I'm on the phone with a moron (or sixteen). Or how after ten hours of non-stop work with nothing in my belly but string cheese from eight hours before you're pretty much on autopilot, knowing you can't stop for at least another two hours. Or how my cats run away when I get home because I have become a stranger to them. Or how I haven't been to the gym since last Friday despite still getting up at 4am to go to work instead. Or how yesterday I'm not kidding you EVERYbody was an asshole. EVERYbody. What the fuck? It's the holiday season, you jerks. Have a little joy. Fuck.

No, you don't want to hear about it. And I'm wondering if you even want to hear about what awaits me just one week and one day away.. Do you really want to know that I will be doing the polar opposite of what I went through the last couple of weeks - laying in the sun, drinking my weight in free booze and luxuriating in a complementary bathrobe and fuzzy slippers while I sip coffee on the deck overlooking the blue blue of the Caribbean? Probably not. But yeah, that's where I'll be. Missing the goddamn cats because I'm getting soft in my peri-menopausal state. Thank goodness for Neighbor Geoff and his theory that single people need to take care of each other. And each other's cats.

This vacation couldn't come soon enough, either, since it's been raining like a big fat whore and I honestly don't know how much longer I can take this. It's always flipping dark outside. And my eye doctor suggested I try bifocal contacts during the rainiest week of the year. It takes about a week to get used to (not being able to see) them and this particular week seemed like as good a week as any.. right. The only time I have seen daylight this week was in my (pretty frequent, actually) dashes outside to grab a smoke. I haven't even had time to visit my Deli Boy boyfriend. Anyway, I could see fine out of them in the office and I could read stuff and they were pretty much treating me like a bifocal should, until I got behind the wheel of a car for the drives to and from work, and then LOOK OUT. Seriously. Shapes with pretty sparkly lights, that's pretty much all I could make out. Luckily I could drive to Orenco blindfolded (but there really is no accounting for mad pedestrians that wear dark coats and dart into traffic on poorly lit streets..), so, you know, I made it, but by Day five I just said Fuck it and ripped them out of my eyes and put my old ones back in. Monovision: it works for me. Sorry, Doctor.

So hey, it's Thanksgiving. Let's be thankful for what we have and we are able to do. Let's be thankful that I'm off that desk because I'm not kidding you I would have committed a homicide if I had to spend one more day on it (that's right. Homicide. Pre-meditated murder. I would have thought it out, planned accordingly, and followed through. No case for manslaughter whatsoever.). And let's be thankful that I will very soon be very tan, very drunk, and very happy.