Sunday, July 11, 2010


I don't like to shower. I do, because I have to, you know, everybody should at some point, but I don't like it. It's not so much the showering part, it's the part afterward. I have the kind of hair where there is just no letting it dry naturally. My naturally-dried hair resembles a cross between crabgrass and cotton candy - not pretty. So the part about showering I don't like the most is all the shit you have to do when you get OUT of the shower. And don't suggest that I take a shower and not wash my hair, because I sleep on my face, and it is a rare occasion that my bedhead is even remotely presentable to the public.

But there are days..

So whenever possible, I try to have a no-shower day, obviously a Saturday or Sunday. Today is that day. I probably should have showered, in retrospect. It was pretty stuffy in the casita yesterday evening, what with the sun going down right into the living room and causing any breeze outside to not make it through the screen door. It wasn't even that hot yesterday, around mid 80s I guess. But when the sun sits there shining in, and there is barely a breeze, rendering any CROSS breeze moot, it gets a little stuffy. I had napped in the late afternoon so I wasn't feeling my freshest to begin with. Then when I got up this morning I drank some really strong coffee and proceeded to vacuum the hell out of the place. And the furniture, all of it. Then I changed the sheets, cleaned the bathrooms, changed out the kitty loo, hauled out the trash and made ghetto pasta salad for the week and suddenly realized I hadn't tanned since Tuesday.

Checking the mirror, I convinced myself that with a clip and some sunglasses my hair didn't look all THAT bad, and where was I going anyway? Three blocks up Murray and in to the tanning salon, no one would notice. But when I got to the salon, the computer was all screwed up so she couldn't check me in. She didn't know what kind of wait there would be, so I told her I would just come back. Then changed my mind in the car and went to the Beaverton salon.

Which, despite the fact that I live in Beaverton, is 150 miles away. Sunday morning traffic in Beaverton is just like 2pm traffic in Beaverton on any given day, stupid slow and lots of people driving for the sake of driving, and doing it poorly while they're at it. I made it to Beaverton, tanned, checked the mirror again and realized how NOT presentable my hair really was. It was then I decided to go get a fan for the living room.

I thought I would hit the RiteAid by the Lamb's Thriftway. I'm not really sure why, but it was probably because 106.7 plays American Top 40 reruns on Sunday mornings and this morning was 1976 and a song I liked came on just before I got to the RiteAid at Murray and Allen, and so instead of not hearing the song and going to the closer RiteAid I decided to listen to the song and go to the further RiteAid.

Which, of course, had no fans.

So I decided to just bag it and bring the one from the bedroom into the living room during the day and save some money, but then I saw the Walgreens and told myself, Good God, so far roughly 27 people have seen you and haven't made a face yet, so how bad could you be?

The Walgreens did have fans, and a really slow checker, but I made it out without too much visual damage to my fellow Beavertonians. But seriously, I should have taken a shower this morning.

Because now that I don't really need to go out in public again, there is no way I'm taking one today. And if I tonight I feel even close to what I feel like right now, after a hot car and a hot tanning bed, tomorrow's shower is going to be AWESOME.


At 11:29 PM, July 11, 2010, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell is Ghetto Pasta Salad? Something I should be making for myself? I love your little adventures out in the public and hate, hate, hate Beaverton traffic no matter what time of day. And God forbid I ever hit the red lights at Murray & TV Hwy. & also the one at Farmington. You could conceive and give birth at both lights. Have a good week!!

At 1:38 PM, July 13, 2010, Blogger HBK said...

This is exactly the reason someone invented baseball caps and BIG sunglasses.

However, I too am anxiously awaiting the recipe for ghetto pasta salad :)


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