Saturday, June 26, 2010

Suddenly bitter

And I'm not really sure why. I got an early-ish start (9am) by taking Tom to the Petsmart, and then we had some time to kill, so we went to the Beaverton Farmers' Market (he bought honey, I bought nothing) (I had $10 cash on me and was afraid I'd spend it all in one place so I bought nothing in anticipation of that happening so yeah, I still have $10 cash on me. My logic is astounding), and then I dropped him off at the 7-11 by the mother's pad (beer) (for him) (pay attention) and went to go get my eyebrows waxed. From there, I think, it must have gone down hill.

First I took the wrong exit out of the shopping center, so I could only go right, which meant I had to go west on Scholls Ferry, which turned out okay, since I didn't have anything pressing to do besides get groceries and it's sunny and west on Scholls Ferry leads to my country drive. Then "Here Comes My Girl" by Tom Petty came on KGON and despite the fact that the transplants driving in front of me were going 45 mph when they could (should) have gone 55 mph, I love that song and had it cranked. It was followed by "American Girl" by Tom Petty (block party weekend) so that made me happy, slow happy, driving in the middle of nowhere and still going 45 happy and the jackass behind me is all up on MY shit like I'm the one taking it carefully. Fucker. Little hiccups, but still, pretty good.

Then Winco. Which is fine. It wasn't crazy busy. But I was being followed (I swear) by a family of four with a boy who was JUST the right amount of irritating and the mom who seriously thought she was Carol Brady, all hip and talking to them like they are adults and on top of that LOUDLY calling out every flipping thing she put in the cart. I thought I had a leg up on them when she began saying in advance what she needed next, so I could purposely avoid those aisles, but apparently that was just instruction for her black-socks-with-black-crocs-wearing husband (no lie), who took off with the cart, leaving the rest of the family staying ever so close to me, irritating me, blocking the aisle, slowing down, speeding up, mother... I don't blame the husband. He obviously needed to get the hell away from them as much as I did. I finally broke free of them by choosing a checkout line that was as far away from them as I could get.

Cranky, yes, but not fully bitter, until MiniVan #1 cut me off on Cedar Hills Boulevard. After that it was a series of minivans, and nothing but minivans, cutting me off at every opportunity. I lost count at six. The whole way home. It shouldn't surprise me that more than six minivans cut me off in four miles on a Saturday afternoon in Beaverton, but it DID piss me off. By the time I got past Hart and Murray, and behind a whole line of minivans doing 24 in a 45, I was drawing a sweat from yelling so loud. I don't even know what song was on the radio. It's like they meant to do this.

Then two heavy bags of groceries (I only go grocery shopping twice a month now) and Seca tripping me up every step of the way and the refrigerator doors not staying open.. jaaaayyyysus.

So that's it, suddenly bitter, and cranky, and this can only mean one thing for me at 2:12pm on a Saturday - do NOT go to Target, do NOT go tan, despite the fact that you really need to do both. Instead, head straight to the sofa. You need this.


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