Sunday, November 29, 2009

I should have just stuck with lazy

Yeah so I've been watching bits and pieces of that show "Hoarders" on A&E and that, coupled with some random comments from a friend who has seen my second bedroom (where my computer is and consequently where the magic happens), made me nervous, so yesterday I had my brother Tom come over and help me sort things out. The second bedroom has always been a little bit like the trunk of my car - where things just go when I don't think I should throw them out. Being a person who has moved entirely too many times over the years, I have a hard time parting with boxes. Being a person who prefers laziness to constant activity, I have a hard time breaking said boxes down. And being a person who is convinced that there are spiders beneath anything in my home that hasn't been moved in more than a month, I can't do it alone.

It took no time, and really, I don't think I could have figured out logistically how to get the wardrobe boxes into the closet like Tom did. My mind kind of doesn't work that way. So now the second bedroom is (cleaner than my own) pristine and I feel it's a much more productive place for me to sit and pound out the mindless drivel I like to call Trauma: The Drama. The cats are all freaked out though.

So also when the maintenance guy came in to install my second heater he moved the cedar chest in the dining room over and the cedar chest is really heavy and I couldn't move it back by myself. Well, I might have been able to, but please see above where I talk about spiders. So that's moved back to a more desirable location. And THEN because the ceiling fan light bulb has been burned out for about a year now, I figured, what the hell, he's here, let's see if he can help me with that too.

Here's the situation with Tom: He's an artist. He can draw the hell out of some nature. Other stuff? Hm. Maybe not so much. When we were still living on Bruce Lane, and after my dad died and Benny and Brad were out of the house, Tom took over duties of the boy stuff, like putting the Christmas lights up on the house. Nobody is really sure how he did it, but he managed to take out the electricity to the entire front of the house in the process. I think we had to get someone in to fix it. Christmas lights. And then there was the time when everyone was alive and living there but they still made Tom change a lightbulb in the downstairs ceiling light fixture. He ended up removing the entire piece and couldn't get it back up, couldn't get the lightbulb in there, and the whole thing dangled by one wire for about a year after that (I don't really understand the way that story plays out, but it might explain a lot of my personality).

Anyway, I guess my point is, I should have known. So he was up on the chair, trying to twist the light part of the fan in the direction it said (well, actually, pulling is more like it), with me directing from the floor below, when it came to him that maybe there was a better way. Out came his trusty Leatherman (bad sign), and into the side of the glass cover it went. I said No Tom! It's glass! I don't think you should do that! But he didn't listen, insisted it was plastic, and began prying. He didn't have to pry for long because within seconds it sort of exploded and came crashing down on to the dining room table, into a million glass pieces. Sigh.

He felt bad and I wasn't mad, I mean, shit happens, and really I could have lived without the lightbulb being changed, so it was kind of my fault anyway. He did a really thorough job of cleaning up the mess and the good news is that's one part of the place I don't have to vacuum today. But here's what it looks like in my dining room now.

Anyway, that was pretty much my Saturday, since I didn't shower and really shouldn't have been out in public. I bought him lunch at the Carl's Jr. and dropped him off at my mom's, and then finished up with the vacuuming. Very accomplished.

Four more days. I have a ton to do today but am effectively putting it off, like I do, by blogging and screwing around on the interwebs. We'll see how much I can get done/put off thinking I am taking at least Wednesday off to finish up. I told you I preferred laziness.


At 11:16 AM, November 29, 2009, Anonymous barbie said...

I love it when you make comments about Bruce Lane because I basically remember nothing about living there.... this whole blog had me cracking up.
Poor Tom, with such a good heart.

At 6:55 AM, November 30, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are no Hoarder, just a dirty girl.


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