Every where I'm not

I just thought of the title because our head-head honcho from Seattle (regional guy) is in town for the first time and he is visiting the branches and having meetings and such, and I have been all over the map lately but still haven't had the opportunity to listen to what he has to say. I thought I'd be in Orenco all week, and he was supposed to pop in some time today. I had to leave early to pick Barbie up (she had a little procedure) so I was thinking it would figure that he showed up right around 4pm. Turns out, he scheduled a 9am TOMORROW, and I am actually going to be Annette/Christine/Robyn in Lincoln Tower tomorrow. Figures. Friday I am in Uptown and the only thing saving me from the dread is that I can pick up a tote at Restoration Hardware. Seriously, it gives me hope for the ENTIRE DAY. But enough about work.

So I got to thinking about things. My friend K is going through a tough time, and it's a bummer, but she has much greater friends much closer to her to help her through, even if she probably isn't wanting much company right now. But it sort of got me thinking about friends and where they are and where I am and all that. So like, I do have friends here, but I am thinking that I am sort of starting to not have that much in common with them anymore. Truth be told, I probably haven't had that much in common with them for a while now, but because they are my friends I try to be around. You know how things go - people are constantly evolving and sometimes we just go in different directions. My thing right now is I am really trying hard not to drink and spend the ridiculous amounts of money that I do when I do drink. Not to mention the rather blase attitude I have had about driving... we all know even ONE drink can get you a DUI, and nobody needs that. The drinking thing, maybe it's a phase, I don't know, but I kind of feel like I would like to just save it for special occasions, like being out of town and stuff. But who knows, Friday it will probably be sunny and I might just feel like it. I guess perhaps it is just not wanting to drink for the sake of not having anything else to do. That could be it.

Anyway, what I am finding is that I tend to converse more with the friends that I have that are far away. I think I have more in common with them these days. In all the places I have lived (here, Southern California, Cleveland, Cancun)I have always had the greatest of friends - friends I thought would be forever. I still consider them my friends, but the thing is that sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to keep the relationship up once you have moved on to another destination. I would love to know how Kelly D is doing, or Mari, even Maria, who comes and goes. Brad, and Richard, Ed, Andy, you know, you just want to know how they are.

I have had people pop back up, and I love that, and I love that some people can come in and out of your life and it's no big deal if months pass before talking to them again, because we all understand that our lives are different now, and full, and, well, just different. But wouldn't you like to just scoop up all your old, dear friends and just say Hi! Here's what's up with me, tell me what YOU'RE doing! And then go on your merry way content in knowing that they are fine and though life has thrown them some curves perhaps, they are still going strong and being those great people you remember from so long ago. Sometimes I really miss those people and all I really want to know is that they're okay.

So though right now I haven't been super social and I am sure I can attribute it to the winter, and though it may seem like the friends that I have right here, right now are being neglected perhaps, I do know that I count them in that same group of great friends that I have had along the way. And I hope they understand that it's not personal. And that once I move out of this stupid wasp's nest of an apartment and the sun is actually consistant and warm, I might get out of my little anti-social funk. Maybe my "here" friends will still want to chill, or maybe they will have moved on. Either way, it's okay.