Just sitting here, eating my fiber cereal...

... and thinking about what to say today in response to an article on CNN.com. It's not so much the article ITSELF, as what it represents. It's a stupid article about locust swarms, which are currently affecting Cancun, and it's news, but it's the way it is written that is just pissing me off.* The article is linked under the word "article" that first appears in this entry, for those of you that don't know - if there is a word underlined odds are good it's a link, so click on it and if you want to, read it. Maybe you should read it before I go on. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Okay. So here's the thing (and I said something similar to this in response to Mexico Way's blog of last night in the comment section). I understand that reporters need to jazz up there articles in such a way that they have readers returning to the periodicals for which they write. I can dig that. But there is vibrant writing and there is sensationalism - two entirely different things. If you cannot WRITE vibrantly without speaking half-truths and blowing things COMPLETELY out of proportion, find yourself another profession.

While the reporter is simply stating that there happen to be swarms of locusts in areas of Quintana Roo, in and near the Cancun area, he (I assume "he") makes it sound like Cancun was destroyed (well, okay, it was somewhat) beyond all hope (it WASN'T, because it's BACK, which apparently this guy and CNN don't want the reader to realize) and now, to add insult to injury, their are clouds of corn-munching locusts blanketing the hotel zone and wiping out the corn crop (because, as we all know, right before I go frolicking on the sandy, white beaches I like a good run through the corn stalks just outside party central). Lucky for us, however, discriminating travellers that we are, the population has declared war and have strapped insecticide tanks to their trucks and cars and wait until sunset to fog the entire city (please understand that some of my readers are not familiar with Cancun's geography, lots of people consider "downtown" to be where the Hard Rock Cafe is) (so with that in mind, 60 million people reading CNN.com probably think the same thing). In the US anyway, any sort of chemical that has been condemned by the media will most certainly cause dwarfism, brain damage and sterility, so good Lord all this pesticide raining down on them canNOT be good.

The article goes on to say that this locust swarm is because hurricane season has been mild in the region this year (so far, trust me I am touching wood). Some official is quoted saying that (and don't we all know that if you name an official in an article he is probably the national spokesperson/top scientist/chosen one/all-around-smart guy?) this disaster is due to the "hot weather and an absence of mobility-limiting hurricanes"... okay... I'm confused. Devastating hurricanes are... good, then? ( -affect high-pitched whiney voice here - "Ooohh, I'm just a sheep with an average 6th-grade reading level, I don't know any better, please tell me what to think!").

My favorite line has to be the end though, when they state the fact that typically locusts come to the region every four years or so, because of NATURAL LAW, and then close that simple nothing-to-see-here-folks statement with, "[locusts] are most famous as one of the 10 biblical plagues of Egypt". OH. MY. HELL. And I thought I was overly dramatic.

See, in wrapping this up, kiddies, because I have to, I have a job, the thing that PISSES ME OFF the most about this whole ridiculous, stupid, S T U P I D article is this: it's a simple (though bothersome) situation that, if in any other state or city in Mexico or Latin America or ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, would NOT BE NEWSWORTHY. But it's Cancun, and people (even the sheep) in the US love to vacation in Cancun, and frankly, the US (I don't even know WHO it would be, tourism? the accounting department? See how NOT political I am?) is tired of people spending their money in Mexico. So Wilma hits and the area is ravaged beyond repair, just a shell of its former self, good LORD don't go there, and on top of everything else, NOW THERE IS A PLAGUE!

Instead, let's stay out of that horrible country of Mexico who spends most of its days plotting how they can sneak more people into our country. Let's vacation instead here, maybe in the South, like New Orleans (whoops, better not go there) or Mississippi (wait, is it even still there anymore? I haven't heard ONE THING about them on TV or in the newspapers in simply ages! I guess life is completely back to normal for them - otherwise, we would have heard about it, right? RIGHT??)... okay, don't worry, I hear somebody built a baseball stadium in the middle of an Iowa cornfield a couple years back... maybe we can go there... if those dang locusts don't travel north...

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* Another thing that is currently pissing me off is that either Blogger is incredibly slow this morning or my computer is, and it is taking forever to load shit on the internet, and there is this INCESSANT BUZZING going on some-goddamn-where in the building that is intermittent, loud, and making me INCREASINGLY more irritated.