Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Stupid Tuesday

Let me preface this by saying this is not a pity party. Well, maybe it is. I don't care. I can bitch and moan all I want because I know I don't have to remind any of you whose blog it is.

Today sucked. I thought yesterday sucked until I got to today, but I was wrong. Yesterday sucked because I was busy and sort of lost and all over the place and had a ton of stuff to do and couldn't even finish it in the twelve hours I was at work. But that's an entirely different kind of suck all together.

Today sucked because no matter what I do I cannot seem to please people. I please the living hell out of clients because they are clients and they bring us business and we need them and so you do and do and do because that's what this whole work thing is all about. But what happens when you can't please your internal customers, your coworkers? It's not like you never have to see them again. In theory.

So my job is a difficult one because I am someone new roughly every week, sometimes more and sometimes less. I have to walk in to situations that are completely foreign to me and pretend like I know EXACTLY what is going on, when I don't. If I don't pretend to know what's going on, the client gets nervous because their usual escrow officer isn't there and it freaks them out and makes things generally worse for everyone. So the phone rings, a client asks about a file, and I pretend like all me and the person I am covering ever do is talk about them and their file. All this I can do, I think I'm pretty good at it, and I have a modicum of success doing what it is that I do. But it's no picnic, and it can't be done by anyone, as was suggested last week by a disgruntled employee. Fat chance. Give it a try, big shot. We'll see how it works for you.

My job is also difficult because I am the only one of my kind on the west side. And people take vacations. And lately we've been asked to use a few of our PTO days to sort of even out the company PTO kitty, so staffing becomes a little bit sketchy in some branches and it gets busy and suddenly there aren't enough bodies to do the work that has to be done. Like today and yesterday. I was scheduled to be someone else and it just didn't work out that way. And that happens, and I get that it isn't fair, but really, it's not me. It's my boss, and my job, and the way the cookie crumbles. And I don't wake up in the morning wondering who I'm going to fuck over that day. I just go in and try to do a good job and hope to Christ somebody doesn't come in and tell me they're mad at me because somebody else's desk took priority over theirs.

I know it isn't fair and I know it sucks but maybe if you spoke up and said something to your manager or someone other than me you might get more attention. I hope you felt better after telling me your thoughts, but I can't do anything with it and nothing will change if you don't speak up and tell somebody who matters. Because all you did to me was un-do any good I might have felt like I did today and make me feel like a worthless piece of shit who plays favorites and doesn't do a good enough job.

So thanks.

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