Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Mess

I think I am ready to tell you about my Friday.

It started out well, like any Friday. Though I was at the KOIN and COULD have worn jeans, I decided against it. Still casual, just not jeans. And a black tshirt (this matters). And like any Friday, I drove through Starbucks for my Friday drink - iced venti half decaf peppermint white mocha with no whip (please)(this matters, too). The first couple of hours went well enough, too, though at that time I was sensing something was wrong in my not-work-related life (at that time I was only sensing it, now I know it to be true. But this isn't about that). Two hours in, and I still had about half of that coffee finished, I'm a slow sipper. I had an 11:00 signing and was just responding to an email from my friend Brianna when I picked up that drink and the rest of the day went horribly south.

So when the lid came off it was sort of in slow motion. What I did realize, seconds later while coffee was dripping down my chest, onto my shirt, INTO my shirt, and out of the bottom of my shirt, all over my pants, shoes, the floor in front of my chair, and the desk, was how little I must have actually drank. It was flipping everywhere (except, oddly enough, the keyboard and the hard drive on the floor). I calmly called out to Sheree if we had any paper towels, and when she finally looked at me it was clear I should have been in full panic. Oddly enough I wasn't. It was pretty much just shock. But seriously, I was covered. I was bathed in it. You know, milk, syrup, maybe a little bit of coffee. While Sheree and Whitney cleaned up the floor and the desk, I ran to the bathroom, stripped to the waist (I really had no choice) and gave myself a cowboy bath. I managed to clean up my clothing, but that wet wasn't going to dry in the 40 minutes before my signing. And I certainly couldn't run home to change or even get to the Nordstrom or Macy's. Fabulous.

The office smelled pretty fresh afterward though, so there's that.

I was having a bad ear day, too. My left ear has issues and some mornings it's practically deaf, but I deal with it. This Friday, too, though I was having contact lens issues in my right eye, so after my signing I decided to take it out and see what I could do with it. The culprit? A kitty hair. Under the lens. Not sure which kitty it belonged to, but there it was. With no contact lens solution, I made do and put the contact back in, but my eye was already irritated enough and as the day wore on I just slowly lost more and more vision.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I am hearing- and vision-impaired I tend to lose my equilibrium and run into things. It's not really anything new, but it's still annoying. I made it through lunch and most of the afternoon, but I also get kind of groggy when I lose my equilibrium, so the afternoon (devoid of all entertainment, I might add) kind of dragged on. I had a thousand things to do before Marsha's shower on Saturday (because I am a procrastinator), so I told Sheree I was leaving a little bit early.

On my way past her desk my sleeve caught on her name plate and tore. Not just a snag, or a little rip, but a big gaping hole in my elbow. Like beyond repair. So now I smell like milk and I look poor, I can't see, I can't hear, and I have to go to Party City. Oh, and drive. Somehow that wasn't the part that scared me.

I did leave around 4:30, and made it out of downtown and into the general Beaverton area unscathed. Even Party City and the Dollar Store weren't that bad. I thought I was home free when I pulled into my parking spot and made it to the front door. When I reached over to turn on the lamp, however, I knocked it over and in an effort to save the lightbulb that has been in my life literally since 2003, I dropped everything on the floor and grabbed the lamp's cord. Scared the kitties, but saved the lamp, and decided to NOT leave the house again.

Friday sucked. I'm guessing it's karma related, but if it is, I don't want to think about it.

Oh and PS. I was going to rant about something my brother in law shared with me today, but I don't think I will tonight. I've been power-tanning and I am a little bit worn out. I may have more energy in the morning. Because I do have an opinion. Oh yes I do.

3 Comments:

At 11:37 AM, June 24, 2009, Blogger My Way said...

Are you sure this wasn't some part of conspiracy for a Bloopers type of television show?

"On my way past her desk my sleeve caught on her name plate and tore. Not just a snag, or a little rip, but a big gaping hole in my elbow. Like beyond repair. So now I smell like milk and I look poor, I can't see, I can't hear, and I have to go to Party City."

Awesome. Just awesome.

 
At 4:00 PM, June 24, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG, I pee'd myself laughing!

janie

 
At 2:50 PM, June 26, 2009, Anonymous Kim S said...

I love this one! I am now anxiously awaiting the rant about what the brother in law told you...

 

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