Maybe it's time to make a little change

It's been a long time since I made an actual pot of coffee on a Saturday (and/)or Sunday morning, but I did it today. Busy weekend, this one, and I think I deserve a restful Sunday. Truthfully, even if I don't deserve a restful Sunday, I take it anyway, because, you know, I can. Anyway, only two cups into my ever-faithful Saturday Mug* and I feel like I can live without it.

I hit Starbucks regularly in the work week, and I have mentioned I like those canned iced coffees you get at the supermarket. But that was summer and it's turning fallish and I feel like it's time to make the move to hot coffee again. Because I generally end up sleeping on my face, I am frightful to look at in the morning, so most Sundays the odds of me actually leaving the premises first thing in the morning are pretty slim. Today I opted for a pot. I thought I might try going back to the same old same old thing that used to work for me. Turns out, not so much.

It's sort of symbolic of things going on in my life. Having always been a big fan of hurling myself into change, I still like the comfort of those few constants in my life. When I was in Mexico, EVERYTHING was different, at first. But I managed to create routine and order and comfort in my apartment, and knowing that my stuff - my furniture, my sweatshirts, my Saturday Mug - were still safely mine, even if they were miles and miles away from me. Every time I move back to the States (so, you know, the two times I have done it) I manage to fall back into the comfort zone - work in escrow (thank you YET AGAIN to God and my angels), Starbucks and Target, and more or less my group of friends.

It's always been sort of an evolving, churning group, these friends of mine. But I feel like for me, if it isn't changing, it's standing still, and we all know what happens when things stand still - they stagnate. That's good for so many people, still waters run deep, I have no problem with that. For me, however, I feel like still waters need a little churning now and again. So I think that's what I'll do. Take a little break. Step back and assess. See if not being around will make me appreciate the big picture, with all it's flaws, once again.

So it's nothing more than liking spending time with myself, just for the record, and liking waking up on a Saturday or Sunday morning without my head wanting to explode. I trust no one will be offended, and perhaps when I come back up for air they will still be there (that doesn't necessarily always happen, but I have come to terms with the fact that pretty much everyone has their own definition of "friendship"). If not, that's fine, I have lived without them before for no apparent reason. And if so, then maybe Marshy's right about friends for life. I guess it's something we hope for, even if we don't know we'll get it.
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* I have had this pink coffee mug since 1989, and it's big and holds a ton of coffee and I always make sure it is only used on the weekend. It's like an old friend. I have other big mugs now, and have gained and lost many mugs over the years, but this one is just a great Saturday mug.